My Presidency-Day 1

My Report to the Citizens of the US:

Day 1: after a night of partying, and sauntering through ball after ball in my honor, I headed back to the White House to catch a cat nap before starting my new job.

I awoke at daybreak, and started with a brief yoga session on the lawn outside the South Portico.

Then down to work! I got up on my desk in the Oval Office, and started snooping through the drawers. I wanted to see if the previous guy had left anything good behind, like some change or Temptations.

Then all of a sudden Obama comes blowing in followed by Biden, Hilary, Powell, and Geithner. Obama sits down in my chair, points at me, and says:

WHAT’S THAT RAT CATCHER DOING IN MY OVAL OFFICE?

The nerve! The arrogance! The insult! I spat at him, and whapped on the nose. Hilary lunged at me from the right, but I sprang over her head and landed on top of the bookcase behind her.

Chaos ensued. Curtains are shredded. Furniture is overturned. Paw prints decorate the ceiling. All four humans left with bruises from being whapped, and several well placed biteys.

I have retained control of the Oval Office. The humans left humiliated. I understand the outside of the door is being guarded, and a swat team is forming. I will not surrender. The stakes are too high.

Luv,
Skittles, The Huntress
44th POTUS

PS: Tomorrow we will have yoga with Queen Elizabeth in the Rose Garden.